Let’s Cue The Duck One Last Time.

Anyone who met Benny knew how kind of a man he was. One of the few left in the world of Jets and high money NASCAR. He was like an uncle to me and many others. He was a husband. He was a father. He was an inspiration to hundreds of thousands suffering from lung cancer. He was the one who tamed Bill Weber. When he wasn’t able to come on air, we would be put into a coma-like state by the mindless drool Weber spit out his mouth. He had the funniest slip-ups, like Jamie Mac-Murry and calling cars different numbers. We didn’t care. He was a legend who deserved slack.

He was just a man driving taxis in Detroit. He said that’s where he learned to drive. I know I learned to drive in Detroit, those crazy fools. He always knew what he was talking about, and had some wisdom to share whenever I saw him. Paring with the slip-ups he had the best catch phrases. I loved it when he said “Here comes Earnhardt”, or when he said “Man, oh MAN!”. You could tell he actually cared about the sport, something missing in today’s society.

May the Lord keep you, and comfort your family ,Benny. I know your racing at that great track in Heaven with all the other fallen heroes.

Thank You for the memories, Benny.

Beat Like A Red-Headed Stepchild.

You might as well call young master Earnhardt, Annie, or something. I don’t know if he can sing, but he should take lessons. I’d love to hear him belt out “It’s a Hard Knock Life”, wouldn’t you? My opinion(s) on this so called “family feud” between the Earnhardts is a tad weird and in the minority, but they wouldn’t fit my personality if they weren’t, right?

They both need to put their big boy/big girl undies on a work it out like adults instead of allowing the media bring it up over and over and over and over…

Earnhardt himself said,

Q.: Can you give us your reaction to Teresa’s comments about TV personality or race car driver?

I tried, and tried not to comment on it. I didn’t want to comment to the press on it. I don’t want to get in a — because you know, even if I don’t and she don’t want to be in a pitching war back and forth, you guys can make one out of it if you want. I was trying not to get involved in it. I really didn’t appreciate it, whether she was taken out of context or not. I just didn’t really appreciate it. But a lot of people went to bat for me, especially a lot of people in the press. It was nice to read those comments and stuff as far as what everybody’s opinion on it was.

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Junior, if you didn’t want to comment, DON’T. Ningún Comentario. No Comments. Screw You You Media Scum. Anything would have worked.

Teresa needs to show her face.

It doesn’t sound good when a owner hasn’t “talked to Earnhardt in 3 months”. (I’m still iffy about that one, how can someone not talk to their boss in 3 months?) It doesn’t look good when she’s not seen by the cameras at racetracks. I know she’s a real private person and is trying to “Preserve Sr.’s legacy” but it’d be nice if she gave interviews sooner than every four years.

I beggeth of you young master Earnhardt, get a professional also!

It’s always nice to have the most important person in your life go to bat for you, but this Max dude is going to kick their butts all the way to the bank.

Dale needs to explore his options.

He said he wants to drive the number 8, and he would have to drive at DEI to drive the 8. Au Contraire. I’m sure any team would be willing to arrange that. I just don’t know if Eury Jr. can come with him.

Last but not least, NASCAR is enjoying every freakin’ moment of this.

Bad Publicity=Good Publicity in NASCAR’s eyes. This story made the front on AOL’s homepage. Even if you don’t watch NASCAR, you probably know what’s going on. I was watching ESPN’s Around the Horn the other day, and they were talking about it. Even though most of them dismissed NASCAR as a “bunch of Rednecks see who’s mullet is aerodynamically better” (I’m still trying to figure out how ESPN is covering NASCAR yet it’s announcers are beyond ignorant.)

I think I can hear Earnhardt scrubbing floors and singing.

It’s The Hard-Knock Life for us!
It’s The Hard-Knock Life for us!
‘Steada treated- we get tricked!
‘Steada kisses- we get kicked!
It’s The Hard-Knock Life!

Got no folks to speak of, so-
It’s the hard- knock row we hoe!
Cotton blankets- ’steada wool!
Empty bellies- ’steada full!
It’s The Hard-Knock Life!

 

Don’t it feel like the wind is always howlin’?
Don’t it seem like there’s never any light?
Once a day don’t you want to throw the towel in?
It’s easier than puttin’ up a fight!

 

No one’s there when you dreams at night get creepy.
No one cares if you grow, or if you shrink.
No one dries when your eyes get wet and weepy.
From the cryin’ you would think this place would sink! Oh!!!

 

Empty belly life!
Rotten smelly life!
Full of sorrow life!
No tomorrow life!

 

Santa Claus we never see.
Santa Claus, what’s that? Who’s he?
No one cares for you a smidge,
when you’re in an orphanage.
It’s The Hard-Knock Life!

That was…weird.

I was sick for the past couple days. I’ve been glued to the toilet, so that’s why you guys haven’t heard from me. Again, I seems I’m sick 24/7.

I need to take this cast off NOW. The itching is quite bad, but I can’t scratch it because it’s on the bottom of my foot. Of all places, that itch decides to be there!

In other news, NASCAR decides it wants to drive away more fans by altering it’s rules, which mysteriously have never been seen by the general public. More people in the chase, and more points awarded to the winner apparently equal moo-la in NASCAR’s eyes.

If they’re going to change the points, please do something that doesn’t add more people in, thus making it easier to be 5 gazillion points behind the leader. How about awarding the top chase finisher a certian amount of points, then subtracting by 5 each time you move down a position?

I stated this in an earlier post, and well it makes to much sense like Jerry said. NASCAR likes confusing it’s competitors and fans, and doesn’t see it a job-well-done if they haven’t.

Self Pity.

Yes, I’m wallowing in it. I should be out partying into 2007, but instead I get to spend the day at home with a cast, and cry when I see how bad Dick Clark is. Let the dude be in peace, don’t force him to do that show! Anyway, I’m wishing all of you a happy, prosperous, and fun-filled 2007.

STOP YOU SPAMMERS FROM HELL!

I’m sorry, I just have to tell you guys that your comments may not show up because they keep falling in the spam box, but I had to enable that because there’s this dude, who doesn’t like me apparently. First, we had a civil conversation. Then it got ugly when he told me Earnhardt could go and die.

WHAT?

I gave him a nice uh…”profanity filled love note”. He started to leave me messages about how he was going to spam me. C-hea, okay. He started leaving comments about how you can work from home, stop erectile dysfunction and more! Yippie! I’ve always looked for a cure for ED!

Anyway, I just thought you should know, you little spammer you, I’m going to report you to the man (WordPress) if you don’t stop.

Hehe, I sound like a tattle

How not to be a little doofus in NASCAR.

With the very limited driver pool now-a-days, it seems the owners are basically stealing people from the cradle. Heck, I’m sure someone has dibs on Jeff Gordon’s baby. Along with these young drivers comes immaturity, crashes, and just plain stupidity. Of course, there’s rare exceptions. Denny Hamlin, much?

I’m here with a simple tutorial that all drivers should undergo before they strap in that car and put someone else’s life at risk.

• Maybe run for than a lot of truck races, barely any Busch races, and no Cup races before you try racing in Nextel Cup? Might sound introductory, but obviously David Ragan didn’t get the memo.
• There’s no crying in racing! Leave that for your child, Jeff Gordon! Stop whining if someone is actually doing what they’re paid to do, and pull up your big boy pants! New drivers, please don’t follow Mr. Gordon’s example. KTHANX
• Let’s go party a couple of days before the day of a race! er…NO. I really wasn’t going to pick on my favorite in this, but it just wouldn’t be right if he wasn’t included. He’s human. He needs a social life. BUT, when it interferes with your job to the point where you get sick and feel like making a soupbowl in your helmet, I think it’s not too smart. So new drivers, please be committed, determined, and have the drive to do whatever it takes to win!
• Don’t be a “twinkie” and sleep with your boss. Not only in the NASCAR world is this immoral, but in the real world it’s just plain disgusting. -Thanks to Jerry for giving a word to describe her.
• Control your name from the start, mkay?
• Obviously have a personal trainer to keep you in shape. I mean, Tony Stewart got one, and he went on a tear!
• New drivers, once you get older please don’t say your going to retire, don’t, say it again, and don’t. Frankly, that’s annoying as hell.
• Don’t cheat at the first race, then dedicate the win to Jimmie Johnson haters. A.) You’re not Jimmie Johnson, why would you dedicate this to him? B.) You look like a grade A jackass!
• Don’t tell your motorcoach driver to NOT shave until you win, especially if the dude is single. I wonder if Carl Edwards’ was Santa for Christmas?

Coming soon from the “How not to be a little doofus in…” line..

How not to be a a little doofus in NASCAR journalism- NOW WITH SNIPPETS FROM BOB DILNER!

How not to be a little doofus in NASCAR ownerage.- NOW WITH SNIPPETS FROM TERESA EARNHARDT. (She wouldn’t shush about a ball in someone’s court.)

OR you could own all three for the low, low price of Robert Yates Racing! Wait..we thought he was selling it, now he isn’t.

P.S. The Switchfoot CD came out.

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays!

Please remember the true reason for the season, Jesus Christ. In the hustle and bustle of the presents and always good sugar cookies(so. very. good.) we lose the meaning of the holiday.

Love,
Brittany

You TWAT.

I know you all have been anticipating the ever-exciting story of my almost demise. You all hate me. I know it. You’re all probably conjuring a plan to kill me. With your cup of joe in the morning the read the “Let’s Kill Brittany Times”. Yeah, probably not, but sometimes it seems that way. Disaster follows me around, and if it’s not me it’s someone I know. Ever since that growth plate accident in 6th grade and black cloud has been following me around.

My little step-brother, 17, has failed his driver’s exam about 382,324,432.5 times. How he does it is seriously beyond me. I think he does it just to see the test giver-outer(I’m such a good word maker..er.) who has a striking resemblance to Leann Tweeden. Anyway, he can’t. drive. at. all. We asked him to go to Farmer Jack’s (grocery store in Michigan) and it ended up crashing into a tree, totaling the car, and fleeing the scene. So maybe the road was icy, but how hard he hit the tree he HAD to be doing at least 70.

This time, I asked him to back the car out of the driveway so I could go downtown. Simple enough, right? Apparently not. As I’m walking to move the garbage cans he backs out the driveway. The next thing I know is I’m laying on my back, and prodding myself to make sure all my limbs are intact and I don’t need a spatula to pry myself off the ground.

When I get to the hospital, the nurse that helped me had on Jeff Gordon scrubs. Ugliest piece of doo-doo I’ve ever seen, to say the least. She told me, “Wow! Looks like your brother drives like Dale Jr.!”

Disclaimer: I am in no way condoning the stabbing of Jeff Gordon fans. Just nurse Jeff Gordon fans who like for my brain to explode into little bit size pieces.

Grandma got ran over by a..car?

I’m not a grandma, but I really did get ran over by a car. I have 2 broken ribs, a broken left leg, and a concussion. More on that tomorrow.

I just got back from Michigan (the site of the…incident.), and I have come to the conclusion that I’m NEVER flying commerical again. Too many drunk idiots, crazy pilots, and oriental spices that smell like propane, causing the plane to sit on the runway. This would have been prevented if I had flown straight through to Charlotte, instead of having to stop at Raleigh first. COME ON. Raleigh -in the air- is only like 30 minutes away! Why did we have to stop?

Also, I’ve read those comments by Teresa Earnhardt (I’ll also elaborate on those more when I’m not so high off drugs.) and all I can say is so what?

Everyone knows the stepmom/stepson relationship there isn’t so great, but hell are those kinds of relationships every stable? I really, really dislike (no hating here.) mine, and I’m probably not alone.

We don’t even know the whole quote, either. Maybe this dude is paraphrasing? Maybe she was being sarcastic? We can’t really tell from reading something, now can we?

My point is until I get my corner office with leather seats and a plasma screen at DEI ( ) we don’t really know what’s happening. I’m not sticking up for her at all. Trust me, if I hear her say that again I’m grabbing my pitch fork, but we obviously don’t know the whole situation.

Congrats!

“We’re obviously very excited. Christmas came early for us this year.  This is a very special gift for us – one that we’re both looking forward to. The due date is early July, and Ingrid and I can’t wait to be parents. We’ve known for a little while, but we couldn’t wait any longer to share the good news with our friends and fans.”

-Jeff Gordon

I’m sure many of you knew already, but I figured I’d post it for anyone who hasn’t seen. I’m happy for them! Don’t like Jeff the driver, but Jeff the dude/person is all right in my book.